People's Behavior Patterns and Predictions on Dating Sites : Part I

Hi there.

Today I am writing about one very important subject. This topic is more about geeky, algorithmic stuff.  It is about understanding the way people behave on dating sites and how we can predict their future behavior on dating sites.

 How's this related to gay world? This will help us to understand what kind of men response well and what kind of men response to no one. It will also help you to understand class of men from where you are most likely to get your next friend or boy friend from. It can help you to understand how much time he will take to respond to your message, how long it will take for him to be on chat before sharing picture or phone number. What is a probability that given person has fake profile or real one? What is the best time to upload your new cute picture so that it will get you maximum new messages? What words in first line of your profile will bring you more views and what are must avoid words? These all things can be traced down by the help of algorithm and historic data. By applying algorithm on historic data and general observatory data you can make the predictions. These predictions can be tested on small audience and if results are positive then these can be deployed on masses.

 I am sure that I am not the first one talking about all these things. Big companies and social study agencies have already done huge researches and must have cracked down these codes. But out of us how many know those basics statistics of dating demographics and behavioral patterns of people on dating sites?
With this series of blog what I am trying to bring in front of you is basic observations that can be tested, verified by all of you and with your feedback in comments we can understand the basics of this complex geeky side of this dating world. Within next few posts I will be presenting basic observations and points of previous studies conducted by recognized institutions that can be considered as hypothesis. I am hoping to get your positive support on this project.

Keep in touch. See you son.
Love,
Indian Metro Gay :) 

Some relationships teach us some relationships test

I know it is lot of happening out there in mainstream world. There’s a lot of political, economic and psychological unpredictability. These things do affect our normal lives and our relationships. People involved in relationship are the main pillars of relationsip. So their personalities, moods and behaviour does leave direct effect on relation and on the other person involved in it.  If you see around, break ups have become more frequent and inevitable part of everyone’s life. People are leaving their partners, they don’t want to be in relationship why? Reasons could be so many but the main bottom line of those reasons could be they are not happy with what they have and may be they are expecting something different much better partner than they presently have.

  Remember those school days when our parents would meet our teachers after the results of exams and ask them to tell us the scope of improvement in that subject so that next time we will get more marks in exam? I think even in this age we should do this thing. I am not asking to talk to newly become ex and beg to hear flaws but to introspect ourselves and take account of things that came to us in that relationship.  We should ask a question to ourselves that, ‘it is fine now that that guy has gone but how I feel now? Am I still confident and holding myself up?’ ‘Am I regretting?’ ‘Did I put all my best to save this relationship’ ‘Where should I be putting my more focus now? Job? Parents? Health? Savings?’

  They say don’t dwell in the past but these few questions you have to ask yourself. And see what kind of answers you receive from them, positive or negative? 

Few years back in one British newspaper an article came saying after certain number of heartbreaks you get your soul mate. So in this case can we say that these certain heart brakes makes you more mature and deserving candidate in the race of getting “that special one”? If the answer is yes then it can be said that every relationship teaches you something. But also it tests you. Eastern philosophies say that sacrifice is the key base of any relationship. Everyone who is into relationship sacrifices something towards it. These sacrifices could not be monetary only, they are of different kinds.

  Hence while doing these sacrifices a person also swallows lot of patience. Patience is very difficult thing to digest. While doing these all these things slowly you realize that your cycle has turned into testing and the yesterday’s sweet sugary relationship has suddenly turned up into a tricky fragile test of patience, sacrifice and quest of seeking true desire of heart. Sometimes it become difficult, intolerable and you feel like throwing all these things off, get rid of the bond and be free again.  But then guess what ? Suddenly love of life, does something or say something or even look at you with those lovely eyes and all dilemmas and urging vanishes in the minute and all you find yourself on lovely land of love with your boyfriend.

The heart says YES! This is the reason worth struggling for, I can bear thousand bad days in office just to see him in the evening.  I love him and he loves me and I am so happy in this relationship.

The small bond name relationship suddenly become source of living and food for soul and all those teachings earned from introspection and tests given in relationship starts making sense.

Relationship teaches us great thing by taking great tests. 

मै पंछी हु आजाद आसमान का

This is the poem I have written. I am dedicating this poem to all those LGBT people who are fighting for their freedom and right!


मै पंछी हु आजाद आसमान का
मुझे इन बन्दिशोंके पिँजरोंमे मत बांधो
मै बना हूँ खुले आसमानमें अपने पर फ़ैलाने
इन पैरोंको मत काटो बंधू


शरद्की ठंडी हवाओंजैसे
काट रहे है मेरे पर भयके समीर
कभी भरा हुवा था मेरी खुशियोंका पुष्प पुंज
अब बस रह गया है पेड़ पतझड़ का


मत छीनो मेरी आजादी
नहीं घातक यह तुम्हारे प्रति
वर्षोंकी ग्रीष्मपीड़ाके बाद
अब जा के आई थी मेरी वर्ष पहली


मै पंछी हु आजाद आसमान का
मुझे इन बन्दिशोंके पिँजरोंमे मत बांधो भाई
जियो और जीने दो सबको
चलो लाये इस धरती पर खुशिया और शांति

I am writing again!

Yes! I am writing again.

 After log shock I have clinched my pen again and writing my thoughts on the paper. It was like as if I was hit badly by a car and I was in a shock. My soul is shattered and earth beneath my feet has been pulled away. I feel like Sandra Bullock from Gravity. Lost in space and no way back home. What put me in this situation? A change in my country’s law. Now suddenly I am criminal. I cannot be myself. In last 3-4 years when it was legal, I had gotten freedom. I was happy to express my identity. But the thing that I was happy about most was for my nation India. I was feeling like I have come out to my parents and my parents, and here I mean my nation has embraced and accepted me the way I am. 

  But because of this change in law I feel like suddenly my nation has stop loving me. In one minute the relationship of acceptance is torn apart and me and my country have become strangers. For many months I was angry, devastated and sad. Even now also m feeling same but I now I have hoped for better future for all. I was always a positive thinking guy. So now also I think that something good will happen. May be some miracle or something; that will make everything good. Although sounds like kid’s fairy tale, I won’t mind believing in it.

 Because I am gonna believe in love, freedom and happiness. And hence I have decided to start writing again. I am gonna write again guys.

Stay tuned.

Love,

Indian Metro Gay!

From Teen to Man, on the footsteps of Paul Walker

(a gay boy’s journey through darkness to self-belief )

The moment I read that new saying Paul Walker has passed away the first thought came in my mind that wish this is joke. But after 5 seconds when I saw that sad news on internet my heart literally sunk in sadness. For few seconds I was paralyzed with the shock and could not even moved my eyes from that heart breaking news. Paul Walker had gone from us. The actor with whom I spent most of my teenhood with in day dreaming, the guy whom I saw as role model and big brother has gone all the way from me for never coming back; this news was like tight slap on my face or like waking up from a dream in which I was talking to him by sitting next to him and watching sunset. I saw many dreams like this in my late teenhood.

 His deep blue eyes, blond hairs, handsome jaw and muscular body was like Greek god. Or an angel you can say. With these things in kitty he came in Fast &Furious and appeared like boy next door and instantly entered in the hearts of many people. Then he came in sequels through which he indeed maintain that impression of cool dude with whom every macho man would enjoy to grab beer with. Side by side he was doing other movies too. When he appeared macho rough Brian in F&F, he did express his emotional but tenacious side in movie Eight Below. And how can I not say anything about Into The Blue? Wans’t his beefy body perfect for that oceanic thriller? Would that movie remained same sexy and spicy without star like him? He was a great actor. He successfully managed to maintain those above average things without crossing the line and remain presentable and noticeable.

 For the whole world Paul was just a “Fast & Furious guy” but for me he was more than that. For me he was the first complete man that I saw during my painful transaction from boy to man. The first role model that I saw whose big muscles really motivated me to hit gym and be like him, as if his calm and balanced face and receptive eyes were saying to trouble teen like me ‘don’t give up dude, don’t give up. There is so much ahead in life which you cannot see yet but it is worth living. This painful life is meant for something better, something good and something enormous that makes your life complete.’ He was my first true Hollywood crush. Even till today I see him with respect that I never had for any other man. I always had those divine, reverent feeling for him which are far beyond physical attraction and thirst for physical love. Although he was completely my type of guy I never ever imagined him as my lover or he making me love. For him my feelings were always as pure as any person would have for his or her elder brother.   During all the time I spent watching his movies he never spoke to me but said so many things to me.  During those many lonely summer afternoons of teenhood I would sit alone in TV room and watch his movies again and again. I would pause the VCD right when his full face came on screen and keep staring his tranquil blue eyes and kind face. It was as if he was sitting right before me. And then through his deep blue eyes I would dive in the ocean of thoughts and introspection. The only practice I would do during that time is I would ask myself three questions.

“What I am?

What I need to do?

Will that get me close to this guy?”

In third question what I meant by ‘this guy’ is Perfection. What I need to do that will give me physique like this guy, confidence like this guy, balance in life and self-belief like this guy has and the serene calmness of face that tells all the jewels of manhood this guy has achieved in his life and still achieving more and more.  For me this guy named Paul Walker was perfection.

During those many lonely afternoons we met many times and slowly Paul became my good friend in the world of day dreaming. We would enjoy talks, I was the one who would talk a lot.  He was the guy with whom I shared many things that I was not able to talk about with my straight friends.  Slowly may be though my introspection or from my watching situation from outer angle Paul did spoke to me about the things that I need to do and the best thing is I did them. I did woke up at 4 in morning and went to gym, I did spent extra more hours in Chemistry book that allowed me to pass that difficult subject, I did brought that muscular behaviour in my body language that made me “acceptable” in my straight friends. I did imitate his every possible move in my troubled teen life and drove my life towards more balanced life by stepping on his foot step.  

 In those days somewhere deep inside a question was pinching my heart that someday this troubled teen phase shall pass, your life will get settled and as a man you will get busy in job and your partner and then what will happen to the great affection that you have for Paul Walker? Would you still enjoy his movies and news then? Or will he remind you those past troubled days of your life? Today I would answer this question that NO! During last 2 years whenever I saw Paul Walker on TV & internet it did gave me pleasant breeze of gratitude. He reminds me that great journey that I did from boy to man, from nothing to something. He taught me true meaning of man hood.  There was one time in my life when I had lost all hopes about my career and today I am enjoying my career. I always thought that someday if I could go to USA I would roam in the clubs of LA and try to catch him in some plush clubs and say Thanks for the difference he made in my life. So much irony that soon I will be able to go to USA and now I can never ever meet him my whole life.

Dear Paul, you never ever did anything that would hurt me man but you passed so soon that this is gonna make me upset for long time. Although I am sad, somewhere inside my spiritual heart there is an echo coming that is saying that you are in better place now. No man in my whole life made the difference that you made in my life.  You never met me, never spoke to me but you did change my life.

Now all I have for you is countless Thanks and great gratitude for god for sending me true superhero in my life.  You will always be in my heart Paul, See you soon in heaven.

Crushing does leave good effects.

Secretly Crushing is not only Burning but it is Purification of Heart!

For all those single men like me who are secretly crushing on a the wonderful handsome man, I want to share a good gyan today. By turning my pen on spiritual mode today I am sharing ink of my thoughts with you. I am writing on crushing!

I wonder how come yet no author has found the fact that almost major part of gay man’s single life goes around secretly crushing the man who is either in his class, office, neighbourhood or in the same bus he is travelling to. It is painful thing. It is really hard to have all those overwhelming happy cuddly feelings coming for a sweet sugar pie sitting next to you and at a same time pretending like a mid 30s fat woman who is on dieting. Don’t we feel like squeezing that hunk?

No doubt it is painful period of agony.

But crushing also come with some strong benefits. The prolonged crushing phase can give you more than what you can imagine. People think that crushing is either make it or brake it thing. But even in its break it results it gives place for new developments.  Development of new relationships.  Crushing  does leaves some incredible good effects.

Creativity – Crushing makes you more creative. Sitting on back bench of class when you regularly sketch blueprints of your future “plans” on that “property” you enhance your planning, thinking skills which eventually make you a potential boyfriend candidate whose specialty is good in throwing surprise dinner date.

Neglects Irritation – Don’t those cricket fanatics jumping all around us like kid irritate us? Don’t that stupid girls whining on each other bore us? Crushing makes us so much glue to the object of our desire that we really don’t bother about such maniacs around us. We become completely passive to the irritation.

Purification of Heart – Everything comes with expiry date, so the crush too. No matter how big now you feel like holding him forever one day your interest in that guy will be gone and he will end up as just another guy in your friend circle.  But feelings gave for that guy will always leave their significant role. That pain, love, affection will not leave just like that. It will take a way dissatisfaction, sorrow and hopelessness from your heart and will make you more prepared mentally and physically for the guy meant for you J

So guys and gals, If you are crushing on a guy then keep it up. One day you will overcome his crush and you will find more mature, sincere and committed you within you.

Other Side...

It was my dear friend Avi's tweet asking me that why I am not writing any more on my this GAY blog?

That tweet really reminded me that it's been long time since I openly expresses my queer thoughts on this wonderful platform. What kept me away so long?

The Real Life!

Or I would say the other side of real life where I got so busy in other affairs of life that I literally forgot to writing frequently here. But today while looking back and taking account of things those kept me away from my G blog & what they gave me in return is amazing. It has been more than a quarter since I am lost in day to day's life. during this time I worked on many things, my office, major projects, job interviews  appraisal, my Ph D program application & list goes on.

None of them are completely over yet but none of them are remained on head any more. I am happy that I worked on it & today I do not have any bad notion or complaint about my simple life.


Mean while I went close to god. I worked on my spiritual side too. And it gave me such a good feeling that I would might not have had gotten that from any relationship with any guy on PlanetRomeo. I felt content, secure, committed & most important, disciplined.

In a nutshell if I have to say then I would say, I moved out of that uncertain circle & moved closed to that mid 30 disciplined routine life. (though I m in mid 20s). I take it as an experience. I have no grudges, no regrets nor any complaints .I stepped out of my regular pinky plush life and diced into the ocean of discipline & dedication towards my life. It is a wonderful experience & I would say every Gay should take this experience.
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So guys all I wanna say is thank you so much for sending all those emails & calls. Now I am back & I will make sure that my blog will give U more happening & at same more realistic time.

Have a great Life!
Lots of love
IndianMetroGAY!