QUEER EYE & The Journey Of Acceptance!

Hello my dear friends.

I Love you All. 

I am not kidding, I just finished watching the first season of Netflix’s Queer Eye. It is a great show, every gay man must watch it. This is a remake of a show from last decade by same name and concept. 5 gay men with different skill set of life, fashion, beauty, cooking, and design help straight people in improving their lives. Every episode is a new person, every episode is a new story. But what is the most interesting thing about this show is the message and journey they showed in it.

 In this version, these five gay friends, called by “Fab 5” traveled to Georgia, USA. People from the southern USA are quite known for their homophobic views. These Fab 5s help those participants by giving them full makeovers and wins their hearts. It is a beautiful journey of a midpoint where people from two different background and sexualities (gays and straight) come and meet and become friends. Fab 5 are really excellent, eccentric, strong, talented, gay men. They won the hearts of people from Georgia USA shown in the show as participants. As at the beginning of show they said, “The original show was fighting for tolerance. Our fight it for acceptance”. This show is really about achieving that acceptance in society by winning hearts of people who do not belong to LGBT community. As I said earlier in my blog post "Serious Talk - I Wish Jason Shah Was Gay” , we need to show some strong characters as a representatives of LGBT community that will win hearts of straight people; this is the show that gives platform to gay people where they can offer so much to the community. This is indeed an act of building bridges.

I know some people are saying that this show is a typical stereotyping of gay people, but that is just one side of the coin. When you see those happy tears of straight people on the show, those achievements in their lives, when you see they moving ahead in life with the help of 5 gay men; the whole debate of stereotyping or not does not matter.

After seeing so many shows and movies about gay people, This is the show where I felt “YES” I felt happy and I believed that, YES, change is happening in the society. Straights and LGBT are coming together and working hand in hand. 

This is the perfect ground, perfect picture from future. This is the future of Gay community that I believe in.

I love you all my dear friends.

Now go and watch the show on Netflix.

When I Read Giovanni's Room

Hello Friends,

Today I am writing about my experience of reading this wonderful novel "Giovanni'sRoom" by James Baldwin. I read this book this spring and it really touched my heart. This is an amazing book and I think every gay man must read once.  As a proud gay man, I am constantly searching notable gay stories and books. I was recommended this book by an elderly gay friend. I took it from him read it a bit but then I downloaded its audiobook version and actually listened to it. Whether I read it or listen to it is not the main post is about. The post is about, how I felt about this book.
 

Spoiler Alert!
  So coming back to book, Giovanni's Room is a story based in very old age. 1950s, set up in France, in the city of Paris. The story is mainly about David and Giovanni. They are the only 2 main characters in this book. Author of the book, Mr.Baldwin has done a wonderful job of storytelling through the narration of David. David is a hot and handsome dude who happens to backpack to Paris, France and there he meets this alluring, charming, loving but smart guy named Giovanni. But then complexities of David's personality mess up the whole things. And as usual, in most of the gay stories we see today, they brake up. Yes, the book does have a sad ending which we all gays hate to see but still, people loved this book because the way this story was presented. David is the person who messed up all the things. David is portrayed as handsome, irresistible, hot man but David is douche. He was dating a woman when he met Giovanni. He is like one of those guys we see on Grindr who say they are "Straight". Or the like the married men who live with their girlfriends but sneak out to bathhouses in lunch breaks. Giovanni loves David, he wanna be with him but when Giovanni needs his help (without spoiling I am writing this) or when he should have stood up for Giovanni in Giovanni's difficult time, David just disappears back to his girlfriend. And at the end of the book, he goes back to his girlfriend.

  This story is set in 50s, and this book was published in 1956.  When you read this book you will get to know that even back then there were some douche guys were there in the gay community. Dating a man while having a girlfriend back in the apartment. Living double life. Not standing for their gay lover and abandoning them right when boyfriend needs them.  We see all these stories happening in gay community even today.

Author Of Book - James Baldwin

So then why read this book?
We all ask ourselves "why men do that?" , "why they act so weirdly?". Well, this is the answer I guess. This whole story is narrated from David's point of view. All those lies that he told, all those backstabbings he did he did from the influence of certain things from his past. Looking tough, smart and solid from outside but from inside men like David could be fragile, vulnerable, scared and unpredictable.  This is a good attempt to understand the psychology of unreliable, unsteady men.

As I said at the beginning of the post, I am writing about what I felt about this book. What Giovanni's Room has given me personally is an ability to understand people and see beyond the facade of their good looks. Giovanni's room was a dark novel, it was like drinking whiskey on the rocks. But this is something you have to do, to get over something or to grow up. At the end of the book, I do not hate David instead I feel pity for him. And Giovanni emerges as a true hero, man of truth rather than some used and ditched guy.


To all my gay friends I would strongly recommend to read this book. Heartbrakes will be there, sad endings or happy endings will be there. But this book is something like a manual that will make you more clear of any final outcomes. In my opinion, this book is one of the masterpieces of gay literature! So guys, read it and enjoy it. 


Lots Of Love!!!

Serious Talk - I Wish Jason Shah Was Gay

Ok! Before we go ahead let me clear few things.

I am not crushing on Jason,
I am not saying Jason is Gay,
I am not watching Bigg Boss,
I haven't watched last few seasons of Bigg boss.

Since I dated a Russsian guy this summer, my way of communication has changed. I just cannot speak/write anything other than talking straight. But I will try to write back in my old ways and be enough expressive.

By now we all know that Jason Shah is the new wild card entry in reality TV show Bigg Boss 10.  He is a handsome hunk with haunting blue eyes and killer jaw bone. He has those big muscles will not go unnoticed by any person. He is a handsome man.


The moment I saw him something echoed in my mind. It was a memory of an old conversation I once had overheard in public bus. Two straight men were talking about their friend who was not present there at that time. They were making fun of him and calling him names and gay. What made them declare him gay was his flamboyant body language and slender body. One guy said to other, if a guy has so slender body and he acts feminine,doesn't act manly then he has to be GAY. Ordinary straight Indians have this huge misconception about gay people.  Even media and Bollywood also believes in this it seems. Many gay characters in movies and TVs are slim men with feminine body behaviour.

 They don't understand or know that what they think about us is wrong. Gay community also has manly acting, muscular men with muscular physique. Our community does have men like these. But public doesn't know that and media keeps feeding their misbelief by portraying gay men as flamboyant men. I wish regularIndians could see in grindr, I wish they could see many profiles of men on grindr with pictures of muscular men.


All LGBT community is trying so hard to make mainstream straight society accept us. As a marketing graduate what comes in my mind is a marketing theory that could help straight people know us better.  This marketing Model is AIDA model. What it is? Let me explain. We need to think as if we are launching a new product. First, we need to grab people's attention by showing them something that they never seen before. That is Attention of A. Then create Interest in People's minds, let them have Desire to know hthat new thing and then let them take Action. This sequence of Attention, Interest, Desire and Action is called AIDA model.

I think that presenting a gay man with hot muscles and handsome face will be a good first step of AIDA model in Indian public. This is to bring mainstream people closer to gay community. How it will work on TV?  Bring an out gay man who look like Jason on reality shows like Bigg Boss. And then let people see him. How it will work? Explain below in diagram.

This model has worked before. Lakshmi Narayan Tripathi and Sunny Leone from Bigg Boss season 5, all have won hearts of millions of people by their smartness, kindness and great character. This formula has worked before for lesbians, Transgenders, straight people and now it is time to apply this formula on gay men too.  I know Bigg Boss had many great gay men on their show before but they need to go one step ahead. They need to find a gay man who is so handsome that it will make women day dream despite they knowing that he is gay, he should have so hot body that he will motivate straight men to hit the gym, he should be so smart, well mannered, well behaved and most important - should have a strong character that he will win support of many viewers, he should be so total package that he should win the show by huge public support. And then people (even though some) will see us in a different way and accept us like one of their own.

This whole post was just a summary of all thoughts that came in my mind when I saw Jason Shah. Indian gay community needs to find their desi version of Anderson Cooper, Ellen Degeneres, Tom Daley and Neil Patrick Harris. Gay men have so much to offer, let Indians receive it.

Why I am quite?

 Being reader of my blog you guyz must be wondering that why I am so much quite on one burning issue? Why I am not writing much on section 377 and laws. Why voice of my ink is not rebellious but rather humorous. The thing is behind the screen of laptop and blog page me too scared, worried and heartbroken. But I chose to keep writing positive side.

   When I started writing this blog I was confused, hopeful Indian gay man in his early 20s. I was seeing lots of problems around me, lots of heart breaks, lots of tears and lots of waiting. I too was going through some of those sufferings. But I had something in my heart that pulled me out of that darkness. It was hope.

I always believed that to change any situation for better all you need is hope. Without hope is nothing possible. And hence by understanding hope and sewing seeds of it in my heart I decided to look at brighter side. I decided to share my positive, humorous thoughts with fellow gay men like me. I starting this blog to express my inner side and also spread some positive vibes in gay society. And I did it by writing post that practically makes difference. It was simple poem in Hindi that wrote about simple guy's feelings made few readers smile, it was book review about a gay stories collection that gave info to other gays about new gay book and it was heart touching post about how closeted gays can approach their mothers towards coming out to made huge applaud.  I wrote simple but important things that happens in every day life of normal gay guy like me.

 Being an Indian gay guy I am not a super popular, super hot young dude who has lots of female friends and whose life is party every night. Living that life is not wrong but having that life should not be necessary.  Some people think that being normal gay means living that popular, happening life. If you are not living that then you are not normal. I wanted to change this thinking of people and tell them that it is ok if you are reading book at late night, it is ok if you are spending day alone and it is ok if you have some problems. Having problem is not wrong but if you are not celebrating good from problems then it is wrong. And this is what I shared through my blog. I am sharing positive hopes through my blog.

  Yes I am very much scared but if I decide to pamper that feeling then I am not doing any good.I want to have a good, free, loving, respected life and I will have that. I don't know how but I know I will have that. It is a hope in my heart that is telling me this.

I am quite means it is not that I don't care but because I have hope in my heart.

Why We Need Indian Language Version of Prayers For Bobby.

Even if we take voice of best Bollywood actress to dub Sigourney Weavers's dialogues we cannot dub her charisma. I don't wanna compare between Hollywood and Bollywood here. Today I am writing this post to share very sensitive point. It's on spreading right information about homosexuality. 

No matter how much we have advanced our English language but still we haven't lost that room of comfort for mother tongue in our heart and so our parents. Need not to surprise if most of ours' parents are not well versed in English & still prefer Bollywood movies over watching Avatar in 3D or Schindler's list. 

When I first saw Prayers For Bobby it touched my heart and I did cried at the end of the movie. It was marvelous presentation of problems of a gay man living in religious family and transition of a religious mother into open minded mother of all, a true story indeed. Sigourney Weaver was magnificent. No doubt about that! Ryan Kelley did the excellent Bobby. Hats off to director Russel Mulcachy for presenting realistic image of gays in media. Every gay man who has seen that movie really appreciated and liked that movie, and so their good straight friends too. This movie is a perfect eye opener.

We cannot expect such movie in Bollywood yet. But this is a must watch for those who are gay and those who are related to gays. It is an eye opener for those who do not understand what homosexuality really is. It is a sympathetic movie that portrays a mother in center stage. Whole movie moves around a mother of a gay man. Any mother who has a gay son can relate herself to the reluctant but caring mother in the movie. It is a great resource which will help families to understand their kids and accept them. 

But it is in English. Most of Indian Gay's parents can understand English and they often watch English movies but this is not enough. Still there is huge number of parents who don't understand English or they understand North American English accent. So for them, seeing movie like Prayers for Bobby will not leave the enough impact on parents. Listening dialogues in Hindi or any other Indian language will make them understand the situation in movie more clearly. It will help them to relate with the characters on the movie which will later turn into empathy. Once they are emotionally connected with the characters, they can feel their pain, suffering and analyze the situation from different angle. No parents would want their children to suffer, once they understood their child's suffering, that could change their mind.

Since in last several years LGBT movements has soared in India and many initiatives are getting taken by LGBT groups to spread right awareness of homosexuality in parents of LGBT people. They are doing excellent job towards bringing parents and gays closer. But if we could present movies like Prayers for Bobby to parents in the Indian languages it will really leave the great impact on parents.

There are so many great movies “Mambo Italiano”, “Chicken Tikka Masala”, “Touch Of Pink” and list goes on. If we could present it to parents in Indian languages and make them watch and understand it, it will be a really great effort.

This is my honest thought, thought to share with you. Think about it guys.