Not Without Muscles - Sad Truth Of Gay Life

After dancing, singing, throughout my 20s when I have reached in my late twenties; with very heavy heart I am writing this post to my readers. Almost throughout my all blog posts you were getting a hint of craziness that I have for being in relationship with super-duper hot hunky good looking guy. I spent my whole life waiting for that guy, when passed college I found various things that I needed to get boyfriend. I always though that good job, decent education, good status in society and and good clothes are all ingredients of good romantic life.It is not false. I worked for these things and I got them but now I am heading towards next most essential ingredient that makes relationship with hot guy possible. It is the thing that I have been ignoring and excusing about for my whole life. It is called having oneself a muscular physique.


 I was never a macho guy. Biking, drinking, smoking and up to last few months playing violent video games and going to gym, these all things were manly things for me. I always felt uncomfortable doing them. Especially that gym and diet freakyness. I am a proud Indian Gay and I cannot imagine my life without love and spicy, oily Indian food. So if I don't have boyfriend then spicy Indian food is my chocolate. I don't wanna sacrifice that. I don't wanna sacrifice my early morning good sleep and go to gym! I would rather spend more time in office and earn more money than going regulary to gym early in the morning by sacrificing tasty food. For me it is as difficult as making love to a woman.

I literally feel like dramatically screaming Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

But there is an old saying that you reap what you sow. And then there is one more said saying magic starts out of your comfort zone. I have been doing all possible things to get hot boyfriend but didn't got any. I tried to be balanced and "cool" but no one replied my message. I am not blowing my own trumpet but no matter how much funny I sound here, I have my own gentle personality. I am a very caring guy. Girls that don't know I am gay say about me that I will be a very good caring husband. If I love some one then I love him by my heart, body, mind and soul. I will love not only him but his family also, his friends also even his dog also. I am an adarsh Indian gay guy, I have my own little share of sati savitri Indian nari who sees her husband as god! I will be the man that will love him like lover, play with him like his brother and care him like his dad. This is what I have to offer to my boyfriend. but what if me going to gym and gaining muscles is the first step of all my relationship blueprints? What if having a good body is the first and basic thing that requires in gay love life ? I like muscular guys so I will have to be like one of them. Ripped, muscular with hot body.

 They say looks doesn't matter, love is blind but does that really work in today's real world? Technology has hijacked normal human life, emotions and ways of communication. Everything is myth except tangible material things. Then why not having muscles cannot give you more dates, more replies on Grindr and a hot boyfriend? I know what I want, a hot boyfriend and I am not gonna compromise for that. And for that I need a hot body. So I will HAVE To get that. I don't wanna run away from facts. I wanna have good things in my life and if this is gonna get me a kind of boyfriend that I like then I will do it. It will be a slow process but will do. Not for my physic, not for my self esteem, not for sex but for heart.

 I don't regret of wasting these many years of my 20s without working out because at that time I was working on other important stuffs. I had another battle then. But now when other things in my life are settling down I think I can take this project. I don't have option, I have to take this. This is a biggest sacrifice that I am doing for my future love.
Kill me now honey, for you I am ready to do this even.

I don't know HOW Iam gonna do this but I AM GONNA Do this for sure!

People's Behavior Patterns and Predictions on Dating Sites : Part ll

.......And Then He Sopped Messaging

Hello friends, I am back. As I said in last part of this series of post ( predictive behavioral patterns), today I am writing about the topic of guyz' behavior that will make you interested in searching upon.

It must have happened with you that you came across a nice guy on social networking sites. You liked him, he liked you and then you started chatting. Everything was matching, you were perfect match. You were chatting with each other everyday, he showed you his emotional side, you shared your secrets to him. Everything was fairy tale kind of perfect and then one day he suddenly stopped messaging you.

 Suddenly he started acting like a stranger, as if he never met you before. He ignored your all messages, suddenly became very busy in work place and developed enough problems, enough cousin's weekend visits to keep you away from him. He just disappeared. This is not a very normal thing. I mean this is happening a lot in gay sphere. You will often meet guys who will tell their share of same experience. It is really heart breaking thing. I mean when at one side you are dreaming to get good life partner and on other side if you keep meeting such kind of people you are gonna lose your nerve, your patience and your willingness to find relationship. 

Why it happens that when that guy is really enjoying your company, he is happy then he suddenly turns away and stops messaging. There must be a strong psychological reason behind it. I am not psychologist to know about it. So I wont comment on saying why it happens. But I am analyst, I work with data, so I would comment from that point of view.

Now days many dating apps have that indicator in person's profile showing how frequently that guy replies to messages or how much your and his personality/nature match. So just like this, why cannot apps show that after how many days of chat this person is most likely to go silent? 

I am not saying that apps should scan their messages and by scanning that data they should predict this result but by observing one person's visit & search pattern they should be able to predict this figure.

 For example Mr. B is that man who disappears after starting good chat. One 1st January Mr. B came to gay dating site for searching cool guys on gay dating app. Then he found my profile there. He kept coming on that app to exchange messages with me. On  Jan 10 we shared our numbers on that dating app. And then we started chatting on phone side by side. By Jan 20 we were so much into texting each other on phone and by Jan 20 our visits to gay dating apps were dropped. After chatting and talking with me over phone till 28th Feb he suddenly stopped messaging me. His last message was sent on 1st March. He kept himself away from dating apps for few days and one day, 15th March he came back on dating site and started visiting profiles frequently. 

 So in this imaginary case Mr B was on dating app for 20 days and then he went away from dating apps for 38 days and at same time some other guy showed same behavior (that was me) and then again after 38 days Mr. B came back online. In this guy's case 28-38 days was the period of his interest in me.  If this guy is showing same visiting pattern over the period of time then 28 days is a time till he will be interested in a guy for chatting over text.

I don't want to go on non-analytical debate here, I mean don't wanna spend time on discussing questions like "no, what if the guy he was chatting with was wrong". I don't want to talk about other possible reasons because I am specifically talking about a behavioral pattern where person suddenly stops texting with no reason. So let's stick to it.

I think it would be a great tool for people on dating sites if they understand this factor of person they are looking online. It will help them to understand what should be the speed of their communication.

I mean, if I knew that that guy was gonna turn statue after 4 weeks I would had never skipped my best friend's birthday for the special date he arranged for me. In fact, I wouldn't had replied to his "Hello there" in first place.

I Am Back

Yes Guys.

I am back to the blogging scene.

And this time I am free. I mean actually free. I am blogging from Freedom.

Now I am blogging from North America. Every word I am typing on this post is word of freedom, security and proud. Oh my god, it is taking me while to find these words, words that I lost after living in darkness of fear for so long time.

Between the life of uncertainty and life of hope, between the life of shame and life of pride, I have chose the pride and hope.

And with this hope I am gonna spread a lot of happiness in your lives.To all those gay men from countries where it is illegal to be gay; I wanna make them believe that love is always possible with hope.

Life is all what we make of, life is a dish made out of ingredients we choose.
SO fill all those tasty flavors in your life.


Love,
Indian Metro Gay!