People's Behavior Patterns and Predictions on Dating Sites : Part ll

.......And Then He Sopped Messaging

Hello friends, I am back. As I said in last part of this series of post ( predictive behavioral patterns), today I am writing about the topic of guyz' behavior that will make you interested in searching upon.

It must have happened with you that you came across a nice guy on social networking sites. You liked him, he liked you and then you started chatting. Everything was matching, you were perfect match. You were chatting with each other everyday, he showed you his emotional side, you shared your secrets to him. Everything was fairy tale kind of perfect and then one day he suddenly stopped messaging you.

 Suddenly he started acting like a stranger, as if he never met you before. He ignored your all messages, suddenly became very busy in work place and developed enough problems, enough cousin's weekend visits to keep you away from him. He just disappeared. This is not a very normal thing. I mean this is happening a lot in gay sphere. You will often meet guys who will tell their share of same experience. It is really heart breaking thing. I mean when at one side you are dreaming to get good life partner and on other side if you keep meeting such kind of people you are gonna lose your nerve, your patience and your willingness to find relationship. 

Why it happens that when that guy is really enjoying your company, he is happy then he suddenly turns away and stops messaging. There must be a strong psychological reason behind it. I am not psychologist to know about it. So I wont comment on saying why it happens. But I am analyst, I work with data, so I would comment from that point of view.

Now days many dating apps have that indicator in person's profile showing how frequently that guy replies to messages or how much your and his personality/nature match. So just like this, why cannot apps show that after how many days of chat this person is most likely to go silent? 

I am not saying that apps should scan their messages and by scanning that data they should predict this result but by observing one person's visit & search pattern they should be able to predict this figure.

 For example Mr. B is that man who disappears after starting good chat. One 1st January Mr. B came to gay dating site for searching cool guys on gay dating app. Then he found my profile there. He kept coming on that app to exchange messages with me. On  Jan 10 we shared our numbers on that dating app. And then we started chatting on phone side by side. By Jan 20 we were so much into texting each other on phone and by Jan 20 our visits to gay dating apps were dropped. After chatting and talking with me over phone till 28th Feb he suddenly stopped messaging me. His last message was sent on 1st March. He kept himself away from dating apps for few days and one day, 15th March he came back on dating site and started visiting profiles frequently. 

 So in this imaginary case Mr B was on dating app for 20 days and then he went away from dating apps for 38 days and at same time some other guy showed same behavior (that was me) and then again after 38 days Mr. B came back online. In this guy's case 28-38 days was the period of his interest in me.  If this guy is showing same visiting pattern over the period of time then 28 days is a time till he will be interested in a guy for chatting over text.

I don't want to go on non-analytical debate here, I mean don't wanna spend time on discussing questions like "no, what if the guy he was chatting with was wrong". I don't want to talk about other possible reasons because I am specifically talking about a behavioral pattern where person suddenly stops texting with no reason. So let's stick to it.

I think it would be a great tool for people on dating sites if they understand this factor of person they are looking online. It will help them to understand what should be the speed of their communication.

I mean, if I knew that that guy was gonna turn statue after 4 weeks I would had never skipped my best friend's birthday for the special date he arranged for me. In fact, I wouldn't had replied to his "Hello there" in first place.