Now days me reading a famous novel of Jhumpa Lahiri, a well know author of Indian origin who writes about lives people of Indian origin who are settled abroad. I like Jhumpa's writing, It's detailed. She explains each and every moments with various words. There are few thing which I noticed a lot in Jhumpa's writing are in every story there has to be a Bengali family and an Indian girl marrying white man. Since I m reading her these stories from many days my mind has started churning in different direction and I have actually first time I have started thinking about other way round Interracial relationships.
Wait!
Before we go ahead on this I wanna make few thing clear that I am too ordinary to discuss complication and crunches of racial issues. I am an Indian man who is living India. And still India is not that much educated to understand racial things.
What I want to present here is thoughts of mine on interracial relationships. If it wasn't from the movies of Gurwinder Chadhdha or Novels of Jhumpa Lahiri i hadn't come across the other beautiful side of interracial relationships and so it's pains. First time when I saw Indian Parminder Nangra kissing Jonathan Rhyes Myers frankly in the trailer of Bend it Like Beckham, my eyes stayed wide open, lifts got elevated and a small squarrel ran in my stomach. I was 16 then. Though I had come to know about me by then, it made me feel restless.I mean I wasn't expecting any Indian girl to kiss a white guy on TV. Anyway in reality they had messed my life by not leaving a single handsome boy in school single. They hijacked all my handsome friends and i was left alone spending long recesses in library. white guys were the only untouched piece, that also Ms Nagra had attacked by shooting a long kiss. Indeed I was envied, but it took me years to know that the internal hitching feeling was envy. So I kept ignoring such a good movies, novels, discussion about such girls, even such blue films also.
Years flown and I accepted myself one day. And dropped all the unpleasant, unnecessary views towards society. I became more active than being passive. I started reading news and discussion with more attention and handled discussions with confidence. I had become a very normal guy who wasn't hating anybody. By then I had realized that i envied such relations and seen Bend it like Beckham 11 times. (Actually in those days my inner passion was to get kissed by and Incredibly handsome gora like Jonathan Rhyes Myers.) So the transit form reluctance to gay identity till acceptance of glory finished. At the end of the transit I was int the arms of handsome North Indian guy who was the perfect blend of my all wishes. He had all the things which I wanted to see in my dream man. We both were happy. We were just like any other gay couple, but after a year we moved apart. It was a mutual decision to harness our careers. We were in love with each other, but we were practical also.So here I was again alone in the big Bangalore, spending weekend by doing shopping alone, reading blogs and visiting crosswords.
When I was with Anuj (My Exe by then) I had almost forgotten that once I envied interracial relationships of Asian and African women with Caucasian men. Even big billboards of United Colors of Benetton tried to remind me a lot but didn't clicked. The same unburned attempts were clicking my mind till I read Tasleema Nasreen's "French Lover". By the time I purchased that book to read I had became a complete gay with all experiences and had satisfactory experiences. So when I read the book and those all romantic, passionate, fierce, furious, nasty, ravishing physical encounters of Indian woman with her white french lover my mind got churned with so high speed that I uttered "wow" from my mouth. Even I envied that girl for few minutes. I found that interracial thing mind blowing and didn't found that high in any other kind of relationship.
Now I was weird with firm choices and likes. I'd tend toward these kinda relationships now. I was encouraging them. To get this kinda spicy scoop I started reading Indian female feminist extremist writers' books, started watching cross over movies. It all was less so started digging history also. Read Wiliiam Darlymple's "White Mughals". And after reading that book I was disappointed for living in 21st century India because I was fascinated by the facts of old colonized Indian where many many & many Indian women got married to these extremely handsome hunky white men all the way from England, France & other rich nations of Europe. It was like an golden era for Indian women where each Indian women had 2 choices. Either getting married to unfaithful, prejudices Indian husband and ask for sex favors from him or become the queen of high rank handsome young white British officer and enjoy the freedom, love and amazing sex. So obviously many Goras could get married to Indian women then. What an amazing era it would had been. None of the school history book taught about that though.
So this book helped me a lot to know ore about Indian women who got married and loved to European men. Here I observed one thing that throughout the book, I related myself with these women. I started reading this book for fun but ended up in emotional support. Why not? I am a gay after all, an important but invincible part of society. Curious to world but less respected creature in the society. just like women of old era. Seriously there is no difference between today's Indian Gays and yestercentury's Indian women.
Throughout the book I was supporting, feeling happy for such women. The thing which made me to emphasized with them is LOVE. How ridiculous it is if you cannot stay with a person you love? You cannot spend your life with him? Americas, Europe are pretty mature but even today also many women from Asia, Africa who are having boyfriend from another races have to struggle a lot to convince their parents and society.
All this for what? and then too if they are not going for homosexual relationship which is "un-natural" to society?
So being a gay I believe that the amount and way we struggles for our relationships near to that and close to that way these women also are struggling somewhere. I think we are not alone. What you think?
(Image courtesy http://www.nriinternet.com)
Wait!
What I want to present here is thoughts of mine on interracial relationships. If it wasn't from the movies of Gurwinder Chadhdha or Novels of Jhumpa Lahiri i hadn't come across the other beautiful side of interracial relationships and so it's pains. First time when I saw Indian Parminder Nangra kissing Jonathan Rhyes Myers frankly in the trailer of Bend it Like Beckham, my eyes stayed wide open, lifts got elevated and a small squarrel ran in my stomach. I was 16 then. Though I had come to know about me by then, it made me feel restless.I mean I wasn't expecting any Indian girl to kiss a white guy on TV. Anyway in reality they had messed my life by not leaving a single handsome boy in school single. They hijacked all my handsome friends and i was left alone spending long recesses in library. white guys were the only untouched piece, that also Ms Nagra had attacked by shooting a long kiss. Indeed I was envied, but it took me years to know that the internal hitching feeling was envy. So I kept ignoring such a good movies, novels, discussion about such girls, even such blue films also.
Years flown and I accepted myself one day. And dropped all the unpleasant, unnecessary views towards society. I became more active than being passive. I started reading news and discussion with more attention and handled discussions with confidence. I had become a very normal guy who wasn't hating anybody. By then I had realized that i envied such relations and seen Bend it like Beckham 11 times. (Actually in those days my inner passion was to get kissed by and Incredibly handsome gora like Jonathan Rhyes Myers.) So the transit form reluctance to gay identity till acceptance of glory finished. At the end of the transit I was int the arms of handsome North Indian guy who was the perfect blend of my all wishes. He had all the things which I wanted to see in my dream man. We both were happy. We were just like any other gay couple, but after a year we moved apart. It was a mutual decision to harness our careers. We were in love with each other, but we were practical also.So here I was again alone in the big Bangalore, spending weekend by doing shopping alone, reading blogs and visiting crosswords.
When I was with Anuj (My Exe by then) I had almost forgotten that once I envied interracial relationships of Asian and African women with Caucasian men. Even big billboards of United Colors of Benetton tried to remind me a lot but didn't clicked. The same unburned attempts were clicking my mind till I read Tasleema Nasreen's "French Lover". By the time I purchased that book to read I had became a complete gay with all experiences and had satisfactory experiences. So when I read the book and those all romantic, passionate, fierce, furious, nasty, ravishing physical encounters of Indian woman with her white french lover my mind got churned with so high speed that I uttered "wow" from my mouth. Even I envied that girl for few minutes. I found that interracial thing mind blowing and didn't found that high in any other kind of relationship.
Now I was weird with firm choices and likes. I'd tend toward these kinda relationships now. I was encouraging them. To get this kinda spicy scoop I started reading Indian female feminist extremist writers' books, started watching cross over movies. It all was less so started digging history also. Read Wiliiam Darlymple's "White Mughals". And after reading that book I was disappointed for living in 21st century India because I was fascinated by the facts of old colonized Indian where many many & many Indian women got married to these extremely handsome hunky white men all the way from England, France & other rich nations of Europe. It was like an golden era for Indian women where each Indian women had 2 choices. Either getting married to unfaithful, prejudices Indian husband and ask for sex favors from him or become the queen of high rank handsome young white British officer and enjoy the freedom, love and amazing sex. So obviously many Goras could get married to Indian women then. What an amazing era it would had been. None of the school history book taught about that though.
So this book helped me a lot to know ore about Indian women who got married and loved to European men. Here I observed one thing that throughout the book, I related myself with these women. I started reading this book for fun but ended up in emotional support. Why not? I am a gay after all, an important but invincible part of society. Curious to world but less respected creature in the society. just like women of old era. Seriously there is no difference between today's Indian Gays and yestercentury's Indian women.
Throughout the book I was supporting, feeling happy for such women. The thing which made me to emphasized with them is LOVE. How ridiculous it is if you cannot stay with a person you love? You cannot spend your life with him? Americas, Europe are pretty mature but even today also many women from Asia, Africa who are having boyfriend from another races have to struggle a lot to convince their parents and society.
All this for what? and then too if they are not going for homosexual relationship which is "un-natural" to society?
So being a gay I believe that the amount and way we struggles for our relationships near to that and close to that way these women also are struggling somewhere. I think we are not alone. What you think?
(Image courtesy http://www.nriinternet.com)
Well ur post is quite an autopsy of ur views and I admired and liked fact u mentioned that yet r just views from a boi who
ReplyDeleteLives in banglore and has a window to western culture. Similarly if u use same philosophy for small towns and villages they yet have to get their whiff of modernisation. Problem with India is we r so diverse. We can be a continent within a country. But interracial relationship has been exploited in mainstream Indian cinema even before our birth for example Mera Naam Joker saw Raj Kapoor falling for Russian circus artist or Shashi Kappoor wowing Jenniffer Kapoor. And in real life we had Rajiv Gandhi bringing Italian wife in 1st political family of India. Interracial marriages are always predominant. But it's upon families who accept then will dare them and same goes for homosexuality. And FYI interracical marriages are also a hindrance a rough road in west. Even more difficult marriage than interracial would be Hindu gal falling for Muslim boi. Just as Nagra says in ur fav movie
Absolutely true, the same thing in reverse, Muslim girl falling for non Muslim guy.But in all 3 examples given by you here, boy has married to a western girl. What I a discussing here is Indian woman or Asian woman falling for western man. Off course at the end it depends on family who accepts it. And India is a huge continent where huge diversity of people's mentality can be seen.
ReplyDeleteWell we did have A lot of them too Missisipimasala Masala and also Rani Gayatri Devi or Neena Gupta to few. And a abt Muslim boi and Hindu gal is diff story
ReplyDelete