Other Side...

It was my dear friend Avi's tweet asking me that why I am not writing any more on my this GAY blog?

That tweet really reminded me that it's been long time since I openly expresses my queer thoughts on this wonderful platform. What kept me away so long?

The Real Life!

Or I would say the other side of real life where I got so busy in other affairs of life that I literally forgot to writing frequently here. But today while looking back and taking account of things those kept me away from my G blog & what they gave me in return is amazing. It has been more than a quarter since I am lost in day to day's life. during this time I worked on many things, my office, major projects, job interviews  appraisal, my Ph D program application & list goes on.

None of them are completely over yet but none of them are remained on head any more. I am happy that I worked on it & today I do not have any bad notion or complaint about my simple life.


Mean while I went close to god. I worked on my spiritual side too. And it gave me such a good feeling that I would might not have had gotten that from any relationship with any guy on PlanetRomeo. I felt content, secure, committed & most important, disciplined.

In a nutshell if I have to say then I would say, I moved out of that uncertain circle & moved closed to that mid 30 disciplined routine life. (though I m in mid 20s). I take it as an experience. I have no grudges, no regrets nor any complaints .I stepped out of my regular pinky plush life and diced into the ocean of discipline & dedication towards my life. It is a wonderful experience & I would say every Gay should take this experience.
'

So guys all I wanna say is thank you so much for sending all those emails & calls. Now I am back & I will make sure that my blog will give U more happening & at same more realistic time.

Have a great Life!
Lots of love
IndianMetroGAY!

क्यूंकि मै हूँ ही Simple यार |

तुम मुझे हमारे गे दोस्तोंके सामने अपना बॉय फ्रेंड कहने से रहे

क्यूंकि मै हूँ "Simple लड़का"!

तुम्हारी पार्टीज , तुम्हारी औटिंग्स मै तू मुझे साथ ले जओंगे नहीं 

क्यूंकि मै पिता नही शराब |

मेरी हर सोच पे तुम और तुम्हारे दोस्तोंको है ऐतराज

इसी लिए कहते है मुझे वो सब डाउन मार्केट मिडल क्लास 

और इसिलए सब के सामने तुम बुलाते हो मुझे सिर्फ अपना "जिगरी यार"|

औंटीजी का कल फोन आया था, किसीने उनको तुम्हारे बारे मै कुछ कहा था,

उनकी नजर मैं मैं तुम्हारा करीबी दोस्त और उनका दूसरा बेटा हूँ तो 

तहकीकात का सिलसिला मुझसेही शुरू होना था |

मेरे डेढ़ घंटे के झूठ ने औंटीजी को सहूलियत देदी |

मेरे झूठ ने औंटी जी को खुश कर दिया |

रिटर्न में उन्होंने मुझेही तुम्हे पिंकी से शादी करने के लिए मानाने  को कहा |

काश मैं उनसे कह सकता की मैं तुम्हारा बॉय फ्रेंड हूँ 

पर तुम्हारी मोम को मेरे लड़के होने से पहले मेरे मिडल क्लास होने पर एतराज आता|

लोग कहते है की प्यार मैं अमीर  गरीब कुछ नहीं होता 

लेकिन तुम्हारे जैसे  GUCCI के शुज खरीदनेको 

भले मेरा बटवा हाँ कहे पर मेरा मन नहीं मानता|

तुम्हारे जैसे महंगे i PHONE मैं नहीं यूज करता 

मुझे तो अपना छोटा handset ही बहूत सुहाता |

Handset में apps मुझे क्यूँ चाहिए?

जब तुम्हारा pic मेरे फोन का wallpaper बन जाता 

और sms हर ५ मिनिट में तुम्हारा  प्यार लेके आता?

हमारे दोस्त तो मुझे चिढाते ही रहेंगे 

और तुम रहोगे हमेशा उनके लिए सुपर स्टार 

तुम्हारे पीठ पचे कहते सब अपने मंसूबे, 

तुम्हे हर कोई चाहता हैं करना प्यार |

तुम्हारे गुड लूक्स से सब है घायल, 

जिस दिन हमारे बारे में उनको पता चलेगा तो वो सब हो जायेंगे पागल :)

याद है हमारी लास्ट  डिनर डेट?

सारी लडकिया देख रही थी तुम्हे मुड मुडकर 

लेकिन तुम थे मुझे अपना बिजनस प्लान बताने में मसरूफ

और मै तुम्हारी आखों में हो गया था मशगुल|

तुम सुनते हो अंग्रेजी गाने, मैं सुनता हूँ गाना पुराना,

तुम पहनते हो ब्रांड्स महंगे, मै पहनता हूँ टी शर्ट सादा,

तुम सुनते हो लेडी गागा , मै सुनता हूँ दीदी लता,

मै भी झाड़ सकता हूँ तुम्हारे जैसी अंग्रेजी लंबी

(झाड़ता भी हूँ ऑफिस में पूंछो अपने  पापा से जरा )

हर फ्रायडे नाईट तुम करते हो क्लब में दोस्तों के साथ शराब का नशा,

लेकिन जब तुम्हेरे पापा ऑफिस में मुझे कहते है

"Well Done आकाश! "

मुझे चढ़ जाता हैं जित का नशा |

लेकिन जब तक तुम्हे वो बात बताऊ नहीं

होता नहीं पूरा जित का सेलिब्रेशन|

हम हैं दो अलग छोर नदी के, लेकिन हमारे प्यार का पूल है मजबूत बड़ा |

पिछले १० Valentine's day और १० बर्थ डे के ग्रीटिंग्स आज भी मैंने है संभाल के रखे

मैंने गिफ्ट कि हुई सिल्क की टाय तुमने तो खो दी |

तुम्हारी फरमाइशे , नखरे  और attitude को भी मैंने है बहूत संभाला 

लेकिन नहीं सभाल पाया वो दिन जब तुम थे सिर्फ तुम और मै था  सिर्फ मैं|

जब हम करते थे पढाई मेरे घर पे, चाय पीते थे शाम को छज्जे पे|

छत पे बेठे तारे गिन गिन रातको करते थे ढेर सारी बाते|

करते थे हर बात शेयर समोसे के साथ, गाते थे दोस्ती वाले फ़िल्मी गाने|

तब नहीं था पता हमे हमारा असली सच, लेकिन कुछ नहीं था झूट हमारे बिच |

नहीं छुपाते थे हम एक दूजे से, नाही दुसरोंसे हमारा रिश्ता |

तब थे हम अच्छे दोस्त, सिर्फ हमारे प्यार ने इसे आज भी बनाये रखा|

लेकिन  अब लगता हैं मुझसे ये नहीं होंगा |

बहूत झूट हम दोनोने है बोल लिया |

बहूत कर लिया मैंने अपने आप ओ अद्जुस्त तुम्हारे लिए

अब तुम भी मेरेघर में आओ जरा

छोड़ के अपने दोस्तों को डिस्को में आओ कभी मेरे घर पे जरा

बेठो मेरे सामने रात भर और पूरी रात सुनो मेरी शायरी जो मने तुमे देख कर लिखता आया हूँ अब तक| 

छोड़ के अपने ग्रीन टी, मेरे साथ फिर से चाय की चुस्किया लगाओ जरा |

छोड़ के अपनी  Diplomatic बाते, करो मुझसे गुफ्तगू जरा|

छोड़ दो कुछ दिनों के लिए अपने महलको, मेरे साथ मेरी जिन्दगी भी कभी जियो जरा |

क्यूँ  नहीं कहते तुम हमारे दोस्तोको सच हमारे बारे मै ?

क्यूँ  नहीं दिखाते सबको वो tattoo मेरे नाम का?

क्यूँ नहीं करते तुम झूट से परहेज? जब रिश्ता हैं सच हमारा |

तुमसे कर की इतनी लम्बी बात, नहीं करूँगा तुम्हारे reply की expectation,

मैं पागल ही हूँ जो करता हूँ तुम्हे इतना प्यार |

करता था करता हूँ और करता रहूँगा तुम्हे प्यार |

क्यूँ की मै हूँ ही  लड़का बड़ा simple यार |

Book Review: Quarantine

Book Review: Quarantine

No matter how beautiful words you might come across about this book in review pages, this is a simple straightforward review from gay living in India for gays living in India!

Being an Indian Gay, reading Quarantine was different experience for me. Where the inner saga of acceptance, identity & coming out to parents ends from there stories of Quarantine begins.

This is the book which would keep glued those homosexual men who are eager to explore further shades of gay life or have already experienced them. Far ahead than crushes, love, heart brakes & lust, Rahul Mehta’s book gives you the narration of events that happens in matured gay phase of life. These are stories of Gay & Non Gay things happening around gay men.

The first thing I would appreciate about this book is its fabulous Pink cover which softens the mood & makes it handier. 9 stories are of 9 second generation Indian origin gay men living in USA. Many of them are having partners few of them are single. More or less considerable presence of family characters in stories gives more Indian-ness to the plot. Although it is first book of author, narration is quite good but characters do not get more familiar while reading due to less expressive presentation of characters. At one point of time you will feel that all stories have happened to a single guy in different college years.

Last 3 stories are holding almost half of the pages of book. Author does have successfully presented few issues which Indian readers would feel some attachment with but as I said above unclear expression of characters & limited narration on few events will not make you hold or emphasize with story nor character.

This is a perfect book for gay men in 30s when they have done with career, relations, understood all complexities of gay life & have enough time to talk to people like them. I am not saying all characters in book are in 30s but Indian readers of 20s would find it too mature.

For the points I shall give 2/5. 

Why Mom of Every Indian GAY Boy MUST Loosen Her Kitchen Apron?

(Most Important things you need to do before coming out to her)

I know very few or almost no moms are going to read this but all those gay boys who are reading this post to them I will say guys read this with cool mind, this is something very serious.

When it comes to mom we have that sweet sugary merrily figure appears in our minds who is either wanna feed us food all the time or stop us from eating everything all the time. She could be kind soft in books but in real Indian urban lives mothers do holds some portion of stiffness in their attitude which they have earned by peeling potatoes for our aloo parathas in kitchen for years. They would listen to our talks but they will always keep clung bunch of rigidity in their attitude just like they keep wearing that kitchen apron @ the time we are cooking Maggie on our own. This is their nature, precaution, idea about “could be events”, over confidence whatever u wanna name it you can name it but you cannot ignore that it is their reluctant nature towards our ideas, talks, change proposals or any sort of deeds.

So when for a 2 minutes Maggie moms do not loosen themselves how they would accept about their son’s real orientation? Now before few of you starts proving abut you rmom’s wise mentality & your family’s openness I shall make clear one thing that I am talking this about normal middle class Indian gay boys who are still not open to their family because they know their parents would not be able to understand it or if understood then not be able to handle it.

It is very very important for boys to not hide their orientation from their parents but at a same time they must maintain the balance and harmony in house. If their coming out is going to give heart attack to their mom or going to trap them in forced marriage then they must wait for the right time. But this “right time” is also not specifically predefined or precisely marked on calendar. It is you only who have to develop the idea, understanding in your mother’s mind. It is really necessary to form that idea of “right of living life on own wish” in her mind. Because many Indian moms are highly spiritual. If they have not sets of intellectual thoughts in their mind then they would never embrace the truth even after your coming out and start praying to god to turn you straight and get u married to the “sidhi sadhi ladki” till the last pooja of their lives.
So guys no matter how good English we throw outside, how big talks we spray out but @ the home moms are the same decades old moms who really do not know anything about gayism for her it’s like curable disease or temporary erectile disability only. She doesn’t know that being GAY is more of heart rather than only physical needs. They holds big bunch of bad ideas about gay people which cannot be removed by simply saying “Mom I am GAY”. That is why I am saying that every mom of gay boy must loosen her apron of reluctant & prejudiced thoughts and must embrace the reality.


How she can do it? Hmm check my thoughts,


This big block must be dissolved rather than removing it. Because more u oppose her structural thoughts more she is going to resist you. So this process of dissolving her wrong thoughts must be done slowly & so it demands more time. The most important thing in this process is it must be done and finished before you coming out to her. You can say it will give her basic introduction to gayism which she will also observe and not resist it because by then she would be having secure feeling in her mind that “MY son is NOT gay” and so she won’t resist these observations as long as you r not involved in it (in her mind).

Then next step is to build that confidence in her mind! For mom son will always be a kid so she always thinks that my son needs me. Which is unfortunately not false in many cases so guys do your house work more properly. Learn cooking from her, spend extra time at home fixing leak tap, leaking sink, cleaning furniture & doing other stuffs. Create that image of dependable Super Boy in her mind, create that circle of reliability. So she will also accept that you can live on your own and if not Maggie then at least you can cook daal khichdi when you are sick in her absence :) When U will come out she will have that confidence that U can live on Ur own.

Opening the windows does not bring light only in but it also brings fresh air too. Change is universal law and give that law to her. Give her some extra time for her hobbies, art, mehendi classes, book shop, theatres, kaththak shows, dance shows. Let her re-live her freedom ad love it. Then only she could respect and recognize your need for freedom & so your wishes also.

Introduce her to few of your straight acting decent gay friends and do tell her that they are gay. It will create a good image about gays In her mind, if not clear the wrong perceptions at least for sure

These things will be like a small introduction to gayism to Indian moms. I not guarantee that they would accept it whole heartedly but it will reduce the stroke she would be getting. So guys think about it, share your thoughts, write comments & stay tuned!
Love,

Indian Metro GAY
@IndianMetroGAY