It was a wonderful week with mom dad. First time after me shifting to big apartment they came to see me in Bangalore all the way from Delhi. Full week of fun with Mom, Dad & Sister was unforgettable just like ideal vacation. Everything was moving smoothly till dad opened matrimonial site and made me to sit next to him & show me all girls listed on that matrimonial site. Without taking me in consideration they fixed a girl also.
According to my Dad's philosophy, his father fixed his marriage so it is his holy duty (in fact MUST HAVE RIGHT) to fix his only son's marriage & live the life that any TV serial's father in law lives.
I was shocked! It was cleared long back that I will not be marrying till my sister gets married. Then too he opened "that" website & finished all planning of my wedding. It was an uneasy experience for me, from beginning itself i have been facing many troubles by being not open to my family and then this new demand really gave me a big shock. In fact before they reached here I was thinking to speak to them about my orientation. though it would have hurt them but made me relax.i was fed of masking since last 10 years and really wanted to finish this game. I spoke to one of my "uncle" friend on this and took his opinion. He gave me green flag. I was very happy but dad crushed my happiness.
I would have shouted loudly about my identity.Thrown that burden away from my head and flied free, but what about them? they would have broken down, heir hearts were shattered as many pieces as their tears. I would have lost, my happy parents for forever. No matter how much gay activists speak about equality or modern society, every parents are reluctant to anything related to homosexuality. They just wanna see their kid following foot step of them. taking higher education, doing good job, earning tons of money & marrying blindly the girl of their choice. Why? Why these many demands? just because they thinks that we are kiddish, immature, fools who doesn't even know what is good for them. why they see us big fool? just because they gave us a birth and gave up their all desires?
But wouldn't they been questioned our doubted about their abilities if we weren't born?
Ok.
May be some people reading this think that i a going too far or getting cynical. But what about me? It has been close to 11 years I have hide this secret. Indeed it was a long painful journey. Hiding this secret and continuing on same path for life time will be very uneasy. the imagination of such journey even for a moment pinches multiple spines to my heart. I don't know how disastrous the actual will be. I love my identity & I can't even think of giving it.
Now i am 25 year old, well settled, well earning so mom dad will start forcing me for marriage and denieng them every time will be like walking on a rope. I really do not know how upcoming days gonna be, I have kept my fingures crossed. Rest is in god's hand. I am hoping a positive outcome from this. May be i will get an assignment in abroad so I could skip out of this mess or anything similar to that.
I really need genuine advice from all those guys like me.
Huggs,
Goldy
According to my Dad's philosophy, his father fixed his marriage so it is his holy duty (in fact MUST HAVE RIGHT) to fix his only son's marriage & live the life that any TV serial's father in law lives.
I was shocked! It was cleared long back that I will not be marrying till my sister gets married. Then too he opened "that" website & finished all planning of my wedding. It was an uneasy experience for me, from beginning itself i have been facing many troubles by being not open to my family and then this new demand really gave me a big shock. In fact before they reached here I was thinking to speak to them about my orientation. though it would have hurt them but made me relax.i was fed of masking since last 10 years and really wanted to finish this game. I spoke to one of my "uncle" friend on this and took his opinion. He gave me green flag. I was very happy but dad crushed my happiness.
I would have shouted loudly about my identity.Thrown that burden away from my head and flied free, but what about them? they would have broken down, heir hearts were shattered as many pieces as their tears. I would have lost, my happy parents for forever. No matter how much gay activists speak about equality or modern society, every parents are reluctant to anything related to homosexuality. They just wanna see their kid following foot step of them. taking higher education, doing good job, earning tons of money & marrying blindly the girl of their choice. Why? Why these many demands? just because they thinks that we are kiddish, immature, fools who doesn't even know what is good for them. why they see us big fool? just because they gave us a birth and gave up their all desires?
But wouldn't they been questioned our doubted about their abilities if we weren't born?
Ok.
May be some people reading this think that i a going too far or getting cynical. But what about me? It has been close to 11 years I have hide this secret. Indeed it was a long painful journey. Hiding this secret and continuing on same path for life time will be very uneasy. the imagination of such journey even for a moment pinches multiple spines to my heart. I don't know how disastrous the actual will be. I love my identity & I can't even think of giving it.
Now i am 25 year old, well settled, well earning so mom dad will start forcing me for marriage and denieng them every time will be like walking on a rope. I really do not know how upcoming days gonna be, I have kept my fingures crossed. Rest is in god's hand. I am hoping a positive outcome from this. May be i will get an assignment in abroad so I could skip out of this mess or anything similar to that.
I really need genuine advice from all those guys like me.
Huggs,
Goldy
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